My daughter, Que (it’s a long story!) is learning to ride a bike, and I’ve noticed that doing so is a lot like learning to have a meaningful conversation.
Both require you to be neutral and balanced. You need to focus and try not to get distracted by the little things that are happening around you. And there’s also this notion—which you need to accept—that in the beginning you're gonna stumble. With more experience, you're going to gain confidence and improve.
Importantly, no one's going to come out of the gate the first time knowing how to do it.
When you think about it, having a meaningful conversation is MORE complicated than riding a bike! So it’s totally unrealistic to think that you can do it without practice and failing and learning and falling and getting better and getting it to be completely natural.
Just as with riding a bike, you're building new muscles. You are building your focus muscles. You’re learning to be present and curious. You’re learning to instill trust and confidence in the other person.
One last point: fear is what stops people from learning both skills, but once you conquer it, you will be amazed that you ever felt fear at all.
